Dear Mr. Gleixner,
It has been my pleasure to be a guest essayist for WVTF public radio in the past. I received your invitation to write and read an essay for the Fall Fund Drive. However, this kind invitation creates a dilemma for you and for me.
My personal fear of participating in your fund raising effort stems from my one previous experience at solicitation of money. During my college years I joined other members of my honor society to work the telephone to raise money from alumni. I approached the first telephone call with speech in hand and cheerful confidence only to be rebuffed shortly after saying, “Hello, I’m calling on behalf of…” I spent the remainder of my one hour stint timidly dialing numbers, waiting for the victim’s hello, then hoarsely whispering, “They’re making me call. I’m sorry to bother you and I certainly understand that you don’t want to talk now. I’ll have someone call back tomorrow. Thank you for your time,” and then I would hang up quickly. I didn’t do well on the telethon, but it occurs to me that since radio is a one way conversation you may want to give me another chance.
Your dilemma is quite another problem. It is that I have never convinced anyone to purchase fund raising promoters other than my mother-in-law. I have personally bought boxes of tee ball candy bars, rolls of elementary school wrapping paper and scores of scented church candles to support my family’s fund raising efforts. At the beginning of each school year my mother- in-law says, “Now you be sure to bring by the wrapping paper brochure as soon as you get it. You know I need a few rolls for Christmas.” That’s as good as I get at sales.
If you think, despite all this that I can help I will come to tell folks that I feel about public radio like I feel about my friend, Mrs. Payne, from Dry Fork. Mrs. Payne routinely leaves gifts on my back porch. In the winter time about once a month I find a tin of homemade rolls or a pan of cinnamon buns waiting on the picnic table. In early spring I will find a bundle of asparagus and on toward late May a bucket of strawberries will appear. In mid summer she brings corn and green beans and in the fall her homegrown sweet potatoes. My family is one among many that she looks after and every August we all receive a hand written invitation to her annual backyard barbecue. I not only make every effort to go, but I would never go to see her empty handed. I cannot repay in full the enrichment that she brings to me throughout the year, but she always seems pleased with a bouquet of Cosmos, Zinnias and Rosemary or a loaf of lemon tea bread- a token of my gratitude.
I will come and tell about the gifts of public radio if you like. I could talk about how “Morning Edition” and “All Things Considered” are my daily sustenance for world events and how WVTF Morning Classics is as much of a delicacy as asparagus tips in hollandaise sauce. I could point out that Click and Clack, the Tap It Brothers make me smile as much as berries and cream and when WVTF brings in the voices of local essayists, politicians, physicians and other members of the community they are as real in my life as sweet potato pie. Who could fail to support such daily enrichment when the opportunity arises?
Despite the greatness of the cause, given my history I am mighty afraid I would make my pitch and then sit back and listen to the silence of the phones and volunteers. Within the minute I’m sure the phone would ring and you just as well let me answer it:
“Hello, WVTF Public Radio, ” I would say. “Hi, Mom. Yes, that was me on the radio. Sure we’d love to have your $25 and I’ll make sure that $10 goes to the endowment fund. Thanks, Mom, I know you’re always happy to help out and I count on you every time. OK, Mom, tell Dad I’ll be home in about an hour and a half. Why don’t you let me fix supper for you. We all thank you Mom. Good bye, now.”
I’ll bring my check, too.
Sincerely,
Dugan Maddux